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Sunday, 6 October 2013

Deform Alliance Celebrates No Vote With Guest D.J. Cora Sherlock

The Deform Alliance of former Fine Gael T.Ds & Senators is the most exciting thing to happen in Irish politics since Finian McGrath last let wind at the Leinster House plinth.

A couple of months back, they were sad because they'd been booted out of Fine Gael because they couldn't be doing with abhortion, holy mary mother of god and all that.

Last night, in the wake of the defeat of Enda Kenny's proposal to abolish the Seanad, they were ecstatic.

This blog has been informed that the group gathered for a wild celebration in the crypt of a tridentine church somewhere in Peter Matthew's Dublin South constituency. The D.J. for the evening was their pal Cora Sherlock of the Pro-Life campaign, who played a range of her favourite nineties sounds. Cora Sherlock is the new nice girl of the ultra-right in Ireland. My sources tell me she spent her college years giving hope to fellas from Killybegs who really had no hope. But sure so it goes.
The evening got a little out of hand at one stage, when Cora departed from her usual nineties reportoire, and got the whole group down on the floor doing Rock The Boat. Ah, The Hues Corporation, we shall not see their likes again. At one point, during the group's raucous rocking of the aforementioned boat, Peter Matthews became separated from his rosary beads.

However, the night ended well when Cora Sherlock led the group in a seance during which they tried to contact the spirit of Fine Gael's first leader, Eoin O'Duffy.
At first they could get nothing. His mobile was engaged. After a couple more tries, though, success. Eoin  O'Duffy told the group he'd been on the phone chatting with the equally late Hermann Goering about the good old days. In particular, himself and Hermann had been reminiscing about O'Duffy's offer to organise an Irish brigade to go and fight on the side of the Third Reich during Operation Barbarrosa.

Eoin O'Duffy told the group that his spirit is with them, one thousand per cent of the way, and that if he weren't dead he'd be a Reform Alliance member of the Seanad. At which point, it's rumoured, actual tears were shed. I dedicate my poem, What The Virgin At Knock Would Say If She Could Speak, to this admirable group of expunged ex-Fine Gaelers.